A God-awful Small Affair

Thank you for enduring this countdown - there are only more to come I'm afraid. #20 - "Black Skinhead" - Kanye West I wouldn't mind another Marilyn Manson rip-off next year to be honest if they sounded as furious and lively as this. #19 - "You're Not the One" - Sky Ferreira Gorgeous 80s riffs, a soaring chorus and a general amalgamism of everything excellent about recent indie-pop music. #18 - "Closer" - Tegan and Sara I think this is probably the best chorus of the year. It makes doing the grocery shopping feel triumphant. #17 - "Recover" - CHVRCHES Basically this whole teens-thing is full of all my "choruses of the year" before I settle down and get all deep and pretentious for my top ten, yo. #16 - "It All Feels Right" - Washed Out I just can't put into words how well this style of music just clicks with me and turns me into a gooey, reclining mess. #15 - "Q.U.E.E.N. (feat. Er...

So yeah... this is the second thirty, which in hindsight is rather an arbitrary number, but I've been busy with stuff and just want to build more suspense for the top twenty. So, in the mean time, enjoy these not-quite-good-enough offerings. #50 - "Love Illumination" - Franz Ferdinand Did anyone notice that they released an album? ANYONE? #49 - "New Slaves" - Kanye West Probably the best verse on the album. #48 - "Something About You" - Dornik 2013's spiritual successor to Frank Ocean's Sweet Life . Smooth. #47 - "This Ladder is Ours" - The Joy Formidable They're going to take at least 10 of these to make them as instantly loveable as, say, CHVRCHES, but in the mean time I'm happy to see them bash out jams like this. #46 - "Back Together" - Annie HOUSE-POP HAS REACHED NORWAY. Wonderful. #45 - "5AM" - Katy B I was kinda hoping for some more Diplo following 2012's Danger EP...

This'll be split into three parts: the first fifty, the second thirty, and the top twenty. I hope there's at least something here you may enjoy. #100 - "Sonnentanz" - Klangkarussell A bit of a surprise hit around September, this German sundance isn't exactly the liveliest thing imaginable but it sure is gorgeous. I prefer this version to the vocal one that charted. #99 - "I Appear Missing" - Queens of the Stone Age I found it difficult to pick a song from the album to feature on this list, but this one just about stands out as the most dramatic. #98 - "Flatline" - Mutya Keisha Siobhan It was a little unfortunate releasing this in the wake of HAIM, I guess. Not Dev Hynes' finest contribution to pop, not even in the past 12 months, but still largely more enjoyable than anything by the Sugababes since 2007. #97 - "Move" - Little Mix I've said many times that the build-up to the chorus is a touch disapp...

    If I'm honest, there haven't been many albums this year that have stood out in record stores or made me stroke my iPod with small fits of affection - out of their sheer appearance, at least. Here, I compile ten that're at least "quite pretty" and OH BOY ARE THEY. #10 - "Nothing Was the Same" - Drake I didn't go much on the album itself, with the exception of a few singles, but the way in which this double-whammy was parodied on t'internet was mildly amusing.   #9 - "Old" - Danny Brown Is it a dig at Macklemore's Heist record? Is it a Napoleon reference? Either way, it's pretty b old ha ha ha ha hahaha hahaha ha. #8 - "Paracosm" - Washed Out It's a matter of time before this pattern is on a T-shirt I buy, I suppose. #7 - "Long.Live.A$AP" - A$AP Rocky Don't really consider myself a fan of him after how drawn out his breakthrough was and how 'm...

Before I bestow any praise let me get my bad blood out of my system, so I can enter the festive period drained. The following may not be the worst of ALL released this year, but just of what I had the misfortune of hearing. Apologies in advance. #10 - "Union J" - Union J My last review will prove that I don't have a total intolerance of UK boybands, but one of the most cringeworthy music moments of the year was sitting down to watch Kick-Ass 2 and seeing their music video not-so-subtly shoved in by promo-folk. Let's hope this is the last we'll hear of them. #9 - "James Arthur" - James Arthur Not a good year for self-titled X Factor releases, is it? Idiotic motormouth with no ability to rein it in on his vocals. Agonising listening. #8 - "Magna Carta Holy Grail" - Jay Z He fell off a long time ago but I never suspected he'd ever produce something so dull and so lacking in life as this. #7 - "The 1975" -...

 'O look, look in the mirror, O look in your distress: Life remains a blessing Although you cannot bless. 'O stand, stand at the window As the tears scald and start; You shall love your crooked neighbour With your crooked heart.' It was late, late in the evening, The lovers they were gone; The clocks had ceased their chiming, And the deep river ran on. Reviewing a One Direction album is a little like whispering at an Aerosmith concert and expecting to be heard. With that in mind, I'll keep it brief: 'Best Song Ever' and 'Midnight Memories' are rather lovely indeed once you get past their staggering resemblances to Baba O'Riley and Pour Some Sugar on Me respectively. They're not the only small brushes of cock-rock going on either: 'Little Black Dress' is probably their worst song to date and goes absolutely nowhere, and sounds a bit like Jedward trying to emulate Queen. As one would predict, they're at their strongest when p...

Looking back over the career of Spears is a little like rediscovering your old Bebo account: a handful of moments that defined your childhood and teenage years shrouded by an overall sense of embarrassment and tackiness. The breakdown, the sleazy music videos and the tabloid relationships all help build up the impression that she's an interesting personality when in reality she's just been the most prominent example of a puppet since Kermit the Frog. Her overwhelming lack of intelligence, talent and unique identity has bewilderingly left her path to world dominance unobstructed, but her story has made a couple of decent albums. Blackout and Femme Fatale might not have had the same hits and dominance that singles from her earlier bubblegum phase carried, but they were slickly produced and excellently timed to make her breakdown and recovery all the more compelling. Blackout may have been a little exploitative, sure, but her whole career has been built on exploitation. ...