Alexandra Burke - Heartbreak on Hold

As, currently, the only X Factor alumnus that has resembled anything close to a popstar I can be arsed to support, Alexandra Burke is in quite a comfortable place here. There's the knowing acceptance that none of her music is ever going to have any artistic merit (as though that's a get-out-of-critics-free card), but with every decent single there comes the tiny thought at the back of my head: "hey, she's not JLS". As one of the X Factor's harshest critics I should know better than to support any of its products, but something, whether it's her meltdown when performing with Beyoncé, or her general sense of humour and down-to-earth likeability (a world away from the bratty gurns of Cher Lloyd or the bland inoffensiveness of Leona Lewis), makes me feel quite comfortable listening to her. Plus 'All Night Long' was fantastic until Pitbull showed up.

The release of 'Elephant' - this record's first single - though was a warning siren. Burke's personality (and voice) had been autotuned into oblivion and the end result was a stinking heap of shite lyricism and neanderthal dance music. The second single - 'Let it Go' - didn't really appear to be much of a step away from that commercial move, either. Perhaps the album offers far more than her marketing team are underselling her with.

Safely kicking off then with a full European club beat with her titular track, Burke begins her second album with obvious lyrics ("tonight I'm dancing all alone/ close my eyes, it's time to let it go") and a soaring chorus. For the timebeing, though, her vocals are allowed room to breathe and it's a pretty fine song for its genre; 'Elephant' follows though and its pre-chorus ("you wanna talk, you wanna talk about it") just invites facepalms all around. The featured Erick Morillo is responsible for Reel to Real's I Like to Move It, for christ's sake, and if there's a song that needs to fuck off more than Elephant it's that. 'Let it Go' is a little less brash, though, and a stronger 90s nostalgia about it makes it more palatable. The less obvious club hits though are often the most rewarding: 'This Love Will Survive', the odd synth aside, would pass quite convincingly for a turn-of-the-century bubblegum pop record. The chorus sunny and optimistic, it's quite infectious.

We return to the nightclub though for 'Fire', which documents a steamy encounter with surprisingly little sex appeal ("nothing could cool me down, not how I feel right now" does rather suggest heat rash rather than foreplay), and it's fine in a "Nicole Scherzinger might do this" way. Which is something to aspire to, really. Mrs. Lewis Hamilton might turn her nose up at the slightly "Cher Lloyd might get left with this" 'Between the Sheets', a tired and piecemeal touch of romance. The whole idea of summarising a club non-event with a metaphor might really capture the emotions of someone, but 'Daylight Robbery' and its blistering synths just completely go over my head. So too does 'Tonight', a catalogue of daft vocal effects and lyrical faux pas ("staring at my phone again") quickly forgotten in amongst an angry hornet's nest of a tune.

There are handfuls of genuinely catchy moments, though: 'Love You That Much' has a strong chorus melody that liken it more to early-2000s Kylie rather than something current and forgettable. In 'Sitting on Top of the World', Burke sings with a theatricality that's a little endearing in its protest against her manager's attempts to sandpaper her edges; and on closer 'What Money Can't Buy' we're finally reminded that it was her voice that won her the 2008 competition in the first place. Tragically, though, it's 'Oh La La' and its piercingly unnecessary revamp of Crystal Waters' excellent dance track that leave the most enduring impression here. A shameless ride on the coat tails of another song's melody, it's everything wrong with modern pop music.

I know that being part of Syco makes your career about 500% more volatile and prone to commercial toppling, but you can't help but feel that a stronger team of songwriters and producers were needed here to give her any chance of a lasting sophomore album. When Fred Falke and Mike Spencer are your biggest credits you're in real trouble of a pop dud. But for all of its total disasters (and they are in a 'worst of the year' league), Heartbreak on Hold does provide glimpses of a popstar capable of so much more.

Rating: 5/10
Highlights: This Love Will Survive, Fire, Love You That Much, Sitting on Top of the World, What Money Can't Buy
Avoid: Oh La La, Elephant, Tonight, Between the Sheets

Artwork Watch: I'll keep it sweet: it's fucking shit.
Up next: Sam Sparro