The Saturdays - Living for the Weekend
Every time I happen to glance upon the Saturdays on my TV they're always on some godawful daytime chat show like Alan Titchmarsh or This Morning. That uniquely British brand of blandness is largely the makeup of these five girls' DNA and now that there're a host of others snapping at their heels (Little Mix, Stooshe) the time may have just come to call it a day. Well. A Saturday. *groans*
The group, now more famous for celebrity engagements and giving birth in sporadic cycles than their hits, actually scored their first #1 single this year: 5 years after their debut with If This Is Love made #8. In a career that saw even their Comic Relief charity single (a turgid cover of Depeche Mode) fail to make it to the top, it's come as quite a surprise. Their albums, though, have tended to be consistent bags of hits; Wordshaker in particular was one of those rare pop group albums where 80% of the songs could've been feasible hits (Ego, Open Up, One Shot, Lose Control, Here Standing... and they went with Forever is Over for the lead single!?)
As usual, the songs here fall into one of three categories: the G-A-Y anthem, the less-assaulting pop single, and the screechy ballad. We begin in earnesty with the summery, lovely hit 'What About Us': arguably not their greatest effort (obviously Higher) but the one we deemed good enough to be their first chart topper. You're a bit hard-pushed to find which girl is singing at which stage, however, and you're better off if you try and source the version without Sean Paul. The marvellously retro 'Disco Love' then gives us a brush up on our musical history with references to Donna Summer and the Bee Gees, but doesn't quite pack the chorus to match up to those genre giants. It's OK. 'Gentleman' begins as though in the midst of a verse on misandry, and resembles the least interesting parts of Gabriella Cilmi, Joss Stone and Natasha Bedingfield rolled into one tuneless bore.
In terms of ballads, the girls have never been able to pull off a successful one: they always resort to trying to give each member her own verse and turning up the melodrama to 11. 'Leave a Light On' is a perfect example of this, and is grating from a minute onwards. In fact, they more often than not just repeat the same words over and over again as if hoping for resonance on the most basic surface level: 'Lease My Love' might be quite a coup for them in getting Darkchild to produce it, but is just a series of words rearranging themselves into increasingly irritating formations. And by the time the autotuned girl behind the title of 'Problem With Love' makes itself heard a third time in its chorus, it's all the strength in the world required not to turn the album off.
The girls have only 3 writing credits on this album (and even then they're still joined by The Jam, their long-standing production team): 'Anywhere With You' is a down-to-earth, what I call Catchphrase song. Its lyrics are the most obvious "this happens in everyday life so I might as well say it lol" nonsense that just lack all imagination. "Four O'Clock in the morning, damn I can't sleep" sings Una and you're right there! What's wrong, Una? Car alarm going off? Itchy pyjamas? "You're running through my mind", she reveals, and the world is taken aback. Their other effort 'Don't Let Me Dance Alone' is basically Higher in a shinier package, whilst there's some success with album closer 'Somebody Else's Life' and its Italo-house hooks.
The problem with the Saturdays is that they are absolutely lacking in personality. They're a great outfit for putting out the occasional banger like All Fired Up and Up and Higher (I'm aware of the recurring skyward theme here, and it continues here with Not Giving Up) but otherwise remain absolutely pointless. You're probably best off never bothering with any of their studio albums and waiting for the inevitable career-ending greatest hits.
Rating: 4/10
Highlights: What About Us; 30 Days; Not Giving Up; Disco Love
Avoid: Problem With Love; Anywhere With You; Leave a Light On; Don't Let Me Dance Alone; Gentleman
Artwork Watch: Poor Una didn't get the memo.
Up next: Anna Calvi
Comments
Post a Comment