P!nk - Hurts 2B Human

I think it's fair to say that only two mega-popstars from the late 90s/early 00s are still enjoying the same, if not bigger, success than they were back then: Beyonce and P!nk. Oh there've been a multitude of those who've since passed or retired or taken up residency on talent show judging panels, but these two ladies continue to impress the critics and charts respectively. Last year's Walk Me Home was P!nk's twentieth top-ten hit in the United Kingdom and it's honestly baffling that she hasn't gone the same way as your Kelly Clarksons or Christina Aguilerae; two equally talented powerhouses of the same era that couldn't buy a hit lately.

It helps, of course, that she's held onto the same sort of writer/producers like Greg Kurstin, Max Martin, Ryan Tedder and Julia Michaels. P!nk's appeal is naturally helped by her ability to play the loveable rogue: the rockstar that shouts "fuck you!" but then calls you later to make sure you're alright. Some pop formulae just don't need reworking: Adele can sing about heartbreak forever, Ed Sheeran can talk about made-up anecdotes and wild friends over the same guitar riffs, and P!nk can be angsty. 

The only problem with this setup, then, is that the songs have sort-of dried up. If you look back on her discography and try to pick apart her greatest singles, the majority of them build up to her best: 2007's Who Knew? After that, there've only been a handful (the last great one was Try from her last album) and there've been plenty of MOR substitutes. 'Hustle', this cycle's promotional single, is one of the latter; penned with Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds and conjuring all of the "shout it enough and hope it sticks" mantras that Imagine Dragons have successfully employed. She of course has a habit of these "don't fuck with me!" singles (So What, Stupid Girls, Blow Me (One Last Kiss), Raise Your Glass) but they seem to deteriorate with every album cycle. First single 'Walk Me Home' is perfectly fine in a "Mumford & Sons ten years ago aesthetic" and gets your feet tapping but... will it be looked back on as one of her classics? It's hard to imagine so.

It's not all bad: 'My Attic' harks back to P!nk's classic sense of painting a picture with nostalgic poignancy and allows her voice to flow unobstructed. On '90 Days', she duets sublimely with Wrabel over a vocoder that's fascinatingly falling apart at the seams. Current country superstar Chris Stapleton survives that last Justin Timberlake record unscathed and contributes another slice of vocal heaven on 'Love Me Anyway', but for me the strongest standout here is 'Circle Game', a tender reflection on P!nk's motherhood and love of her father that erupts with strings.

For all my hard talk, I'm still just a daddy's girl
In this hard shell, there's tiny cracks from a big world

Unfortunately, too much of Hurts 2B Human falters whilst trying to adopt current trends. Its title track, featuring the current most-streamed man in music Khalid, follows the tiresome trend of pairing a slow-building EDMlite instrumental with a chorus consisting of one repeated word. You can actually hear the disinterest from both P!nk and Khalid, and it's pretty insulting that they're singing about being human whilst sounding so detached. It's followed up by 'Can We Pretend', a wibbly-wobbly dancepop attempt that is neither catchy nor subversive. Here the emotions are paper-thin and easily applicable to any young listener; the ideals of "dancing on tables with you" and "the feeling of your lips" just stock-lyrics to fill gaps between predictable drop after predictable drop. There's also a case to be made for 'Courage' being an almost literal carbon-copy of Sia's Unstoppable... which is handy since she's the one who cowrote it. I could go into a rant about how Sia is another one who just releases the same song again and again, but it'd be non sequitur I guess.

The frustrating thing with P!nk is that there is so much intrigue and innate storytelling ability going to waste as her label and producers try to chase more and more hits. The concept of someone who's lived the life of Alecia Moore being able to just write her own thoughts and sing them is alluring enough, and she's still engaging enough a performer to pull off all of the distractions convincingly, but there'd be such a hungry audience for a P!nk without all of the frills and Spotify-framed nonsense.

Rating: 5/10
Highlights: Love Me Anyway, 90 Days, My Attic, Walk Me Home, Circle Game
Avoid: Can We Pretend, Miss You Sometime, Hurts 2B Human, Courage, We Could Have It All

Artwork Watch: It's all a bit "EDM stock artwork all over YouTube" isn't it. A bit Clean Banditty.
For fans of: Same popstars, same Spotify metrics, same song over and over

Coming next: Lizzo