A God-awful Small Affair

Before I bestow any praise let me get my bad blood out of my system, so I can enter the festive period drained. The following may not be the worst of ALL released this year, but just of what I had the misfortune of hearing. Apologies in advance. #10 - "Union J" - Union J My last review will prove that I don't have a total intolerance of UK boybands, but one of the most cringeworthy music moments of the year was sitting down to watch Kick-Ass 2 and seeing their music video not-so-subtly shoved in by promo-folk. Let's hope this is the last we'll hear of them. #9 - "James Arthur" - James Arthur Not a good year for self-titled X Factor releases, is it? Idiotic motormouth with no ability to rein it in on his vocals. Agonising listening. #8 - "Magna Carta Holy Grail" - Jay Z He fell off a long time ago but I never suspected he'd ever produce something so dull and so lacking in life as this. #7 - "The 1975" -

Rating: 1/10 Highlights: It ends Avoid: The whole thing. It's got her husband from Nickelback on it. She's written a song called seventeen for fuck's sake. She's 29.  Artwork Watch: Here. Up next: Blood Orange

It's fair to say I wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the prospect of a new Avril Lavigne album. There were a fair few cynics, of which I was one, of her new image - which seems to have cast aside her breakthrough girl-next-door-with-a-guitar niche in favour of corporate mainstream sluttitude. But enough of the visuals; the music declined pretty sharply too. I don't think it's fair to deny that 'Girlfriend' was catchy, but nonetheless she seemed to have expired her best before date. There's then a brief glimmer of hope in the new album's opener 'Black Star', all twinkling pianos and soft delivery to ease you in. But don't be deceived, 'What The Hell' follows and you're probably familiar with it - all brash careless shtick and a rather unrelentingly catchy, if not obvious, pop tune. The lyrics are shockingly bad ('You say that I'm messing with your head, boy, I like messing in your bed') but it's a hell of a hook. Th