A God-awful Small Affair

She's hotly-tipped by various outlets to be big in 2011, and NME have ranked this album #8 on their 'best of 2010' already (though that may be because, as things stand, she's currently unknown by the mainstream sphere...). But who is Zola Jesus, and why that name? Well I can tell you this much: she's an American soloist whose real name is Nika Danilova. She's in a band called Former Ghosts (who're described as very Joy Division-esque) and has been making music since 2007/8. So to the album. Hmm. 3D gimp masks. ANYWAY. What's immediately obvious about Jesus (I'm going to use the surname for accidental humour) is her voice. It has very obvious comparisons to the likes of Florence Welch, Marina Diamandis and Siouxsie Sioux, in that kind of throaty, ambitious and powerfully emotional sense. The music on the other hand is perfectly pitched for today's indie market: with bands such as The XX, These New Puritans and White Lies very much the music du jou...

Just a little review I did on another site... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- #50: Jamiroquai - White Knuckle Ride From what I make of him, he's quite an easily hateable personality - what with the fast cars, numerous conquests and rich lifestyle. But he's pretty much a dance music legend, and whilst this year saw a slightly eggfaced comeback thanks to the musical pariahs that are The X Factor female judges, this song was just bloody cool. #49: Neon Trees - Animal They never really took off this side of the Atlantic but I'm told they've cut it in the US. But Neon Trees' debut single this year was this, a ridiculously catchy and endearing song. #48: Belle and Sebastian - I'm Not Living in the Real World Anyway - their sound is usually a lot more self-glorifyingly indie and downbeat, but this album's proved a lovely turn of events - vibrant, singalong, happy. #47: Gorillaz - On Melancholy Hill I thoroughly ...

Perhaps the foremost reincarnation of soul-pop we have, Cee-Lo has every right to be cherished. Going against the grain of soulless, bland pop, he's delivered and produced some of the recent times' best music: Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy", TLC's "Waterfalls", The Pussycat Dolls' "Dont'cha" (maybe not that one), Kelis' "Lil' Star"...my point? He's rather lovely. So to the solo career. He's already released two albums to modest success, but he's now very much a big name and with the first single "Fuck You" (later censored to "Forget You") proving to be a global smash hit, he's on top of the world. 'The Lady Killer' begins with an intro that's something from a Bond movie - complete with pantomime evil villainry (some vague cackling about killing...ladies...) before descending into a manic frenzy of what I hereby dub "DnBr" - drum 'n brass. It's exciting and...

For those hoping for Rihanna poring over her Rated R era and the personal issues that came forthwith, look away now. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." Rihanna is back as the dance/r&b princess she's internationally renowned for. Gone are the vulnerable emotions of "Russian Roulette", but in its place is opening track 'S&M', from which the above quote is lifted. The tune is brash and grabs attention, and it's an interesting way of kicking off the proceedings. 'What's My Name?' follows and, as her second single from the project, you'd be right to assume it's one of the catchier numbers. The steel drum tune is subdued and Drake's guest appearance cements its hook and marketability, but it's Rihanna's vocals and the chorus' persistence that make this a track that'll eventually latch onto your subconscious. Similarly, 'Cheers (Drink to That)' (rumoured to be the t...

I'm not going to give this the courtesy of a full review. Instead, I'm going to borrow from Will.I.Am's work ethic and just rehash a lot of criticisms. I have to say, I had bad expectations in this after 'The E.N.D.' which was just...3 good songs and then 45 minutes of what I can only liken to floating around, facedown, in a swimming pool full of urine. But Christ Almighty. The Beginning makes The END look saintly. From the offset, with new single "The Time (Dirty Bit)", it's all repetitive, soulless, boring, generic electronic crap relying on a clumsy, embarrassing hook (Time of My Life, from Dirty Dancing) to try and sell records. There are brief rays of sunshine in "Somebody" and "Whenever", with alternative influences and vibrant sounds eventually being drowned out by this oil spill. Words cannot express how much I loathe Will.I.Am. For the past 5 years he has literally just sapped off of what's hot and current - Cheryl Cole...

Nicki Minaj is coming... She's already featured on chart successes by Christina Aguilera, Trey Songz, Jay Sean, Ludacris and Lil' Wayne, and on Kanye West's "Monster" she proudly boasts "$50k for a verse? No album out?" But the time has come for hip hop's hottest new commodity to make her debut. Her style is interesting - both sexy and frightening, she dabbles in alter egos and this shows in her music. Switching from sweet-as-pie Harajuku Barbie to the intimidating Roman Zolanski quicker than you say Slim Shady, her image has been executed perfectly. So what of the music? Pink Friday begins with "I'm The Best", a high-rolling proclamation of confidence and the perfect kick-off to a career. A cute synth hook persists, whilst Minaj declares "I just woke up, out the door; all the girls will applaud". The track is followed with single 'Roman's Revenge', providing back-up in the unknown form of Eminem. Performing as the...

I'd like to think the 'Extras' syndrome has taken effect here. It would certainly appear so - since the show's main actor, and writer, Dan Clark, cites The Office, Arrested Development, The Larry Sanders Show and The Young Ones as some of his favourite shows. So there is an air of ill logic, upon viewing his show, How Not To Live Your Life . The show is full of obvious physical gags (the most recent episode featured Clark, who plays main character Don, in S&M gear), awful jokes ("What's the Queen's name?", "That's easy...'The'.") and the worst character development since Peter Griffin. The characters themselves are drawn from the most tired of stereotypes - a grouchy old woman who lives next door, a lazy 20/30-something, a scornful love interest - but it's the extras who really shine. One of the other main characters, Samantha (said love interest), has a boyfriend who is somewhat older and a University lecturer. So it'...