Black Eyed Peas - The Beginning, a dirty bit review



I'm not going to give this the courtesy of a full review. Instead, I'm going to borrow from Will.I.Am's work ethic and just rehash a lot of criticisms. I have to say, I had bad expectations in this after 'The E.N.D.' which was just...3 good songs and then 45 minutes of what I can only liken to floating around, facedown, in a swimming pool full of urine.

But Christ Almighty. The Beginning makes The END look saintly. From the offset, with new single "The Time (Dirty Bit)", it's all repetitive, soulless, boring, generic electronic crap relying on a clumsy, embarrassing hook (Time of My Life, from Dirty Dancing) to try and sell records. There are brief rays of sunshine in "Somebody" and "Whenever", with alternative influences and vibrant sounds eventually being drowned out by this oil spill.

Words cannot express how much I loathe Will.I.Am. For the past 5 years he has literally just sapped off of what's hot and current - Cheryl Cole, David Guetta, Usher, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj to name but a few - in order to keep himself in the public eye. Just last night I read a story about him wanting to mentor current X Factor contender Cher Lloyd. If he hadn't punched Perez Hilton I'd have probably started a cult against his name.

Has he actually got no shame? And I'm sorry, this might appear that I'm neglecting the other 3 band members - but with Fergie being autotuned to oblivion in that she might as well be hired by AOL, and the other 2 not getting a mention, they're utterly irrelevant here.

You want to know what I think of the album?



There. That is the worst rating I've ever given an album.

You might think I'm coming off a bit strong - but seriously, take a look at the Black Eyed Peas' history. Songs like 'Where is the Love?', 'Pump It', 'Don't Lie'...they seem eons ago. Even 'Boom Boom Pow' is a step up from this diatribe of shite!

And it's just SO fitting that they decide to run with this conceptual theme of 'dirty bits' and digitally enhanced artwork. As if that's something to celebrate - the easiness and sheer condensed nature of this aesthetic; reducing what were once bright, exciting faces to mere pixels. Nothing about this venture is real. It's impersonal, replaceable cack.

Rating: Atrocious. Not even worth 1/10.
Avoid: all of it.

There. It took me 10 minutes to write that - and now I'll go and produce a Cheryl Cole album and praise something Barack Obama does.

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