worries

My first worry is that it's been so long since I last blogged. I say I want to be a journalist and then I don't write. Not really sure what's up with that.

Bigger worry right now though, and it probably relates to the one above, is how compulsively lazy I am. I have had hundreds of examples where I've told myself "I really need to do something now" and yet here I am, at 4 in the morning, running a bath to go and read in, instead of sleeping.

I've got nothing wrong with me in terms of health (that I'm aware of); I'm not an insomniac. I just have a horrible sleeping pattern - one that I glamourise in the Summer because it's fine then to do nothing and stay up late watching movies. But it's affecting how I perform at college - I am aware that I yawn a lot whilst I'm there, and whilst I do contribute in classes it's not nearly as much as I'm able to.

I wonder sometimes if I am unlocking all of my potential.

But then I also wonder if I even have potential. The internet makes you aware of so many other people, other successful lives, other unsuccessful ones - and it's always the unsuccessful ones that appear more real.

Maybe it's the economic times we live in. Maybe I'm dwelling on negatives. But I'd like to just have an answer, not lots of rhetorical maybes.

I'll probably post this and then go and have a bath and think "Oh this book is funny" and forget about these worries. I'll go to college, very tired, and plod through the lessons without many worries - I'll even go as far as handing in good homework, and contributing good answers - and then I'll go home, probably stopping off to get fast food first, and go online - and still no worries.

My life has too many distractions, but none of them are interesting. There's my punchline.

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