LMFAO - Sorry For Party Rocking

Short review: ROFL. 1/10

It has LMFAO. It has Natalia Kills. It has will.i.am. This is not my cup of tea. But I have tried, in the year or two I've been writing reviews now, to listen to everything (at least) twice before I make a judgment on its worth. The problem of course is that, in listening to this album twice, I have now put more effort into Sorry For Party Rocking than LMFAO themselves.

To further this marvellous achievement I shall now dissect my review into 10 lessons - one for each track.

[I] When people say "LMFAO" they're probably not really laughing. - Rock the Beat II
Comedy has no place in dance music. Especially for unfunny people. So to commence this album with the spoken introduction is just opening yourself up for a world of embarrassment and cheese. "A short time ago in a galaxy close-closely near- is it closely?" this cartoon voice breaks character in some bizarre attempt to shatter their own fourth wall. They cite their breakthrough on April Fool's Day 2007 as a kind of justification to act like arseholes, before charmingly declaring "Move your feet onto the floor; start to freak and drink some more, ho!" Well it's nice to have a mission statement.

[II] I've heard it all before... - Sorry For Party Rocking
This is the true lyrical masterpiece of the album. "I'll be up in the bar looking for a hottie to bone"... "popping bottles in the house and models in the VIP"... "haters don't like, we got the spotlight". But to intersperse these nuggets of wisdom with the repeated title shows a fascinating lack of self-awareness. It begs the question: are they aware of how awful they are, and if so, just what exactly is the price to put aside your dignity?

[III] Success =/= Virtue - Party Rock Anthem (feat. Lauren Bennett & GoonRock)
I don't think it needs to be made clear that having a #1 single is not necessarily indicative of talent or creativity. Cher Lloyd is the current UK number 1; Mr. Blobby, Bob the Builder and Eamon and Frankee have had #1s. All you need is an immediately repetitive and easily ascertained gimmick (the shuffle) and bingo.


[IV] Delusion and fame correlate easily - Sexy And I Know It
I know sexuality and attraction are subjective at the best of times but I wouldn't hesitate to section anyone who considered these two clowns 'sexy'. I needn't analyse the song beyond its opening lyric: "When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly". Sure they do, boys.

[V] Nausea - Champagne Showers (feat. Natalia Kills)
Okay so first off, a positive: this track renders Natalia Kills utterly useless and points out how much of a total fucking joke she is. Hats off to them for making it clear. However, their part in this is equally poor. This single accurately portrays the obsession with cheap glamour that weekly nightclubbers are so eager to seek - and in amongst all of the eurodance synths that pluck away at your senses there's of course the alcoholic undertones that have the same effect. Now personally I find champagne a greatly overrated, unpleasant taste and smell and the track thus feels like a sweaty, sticky mess. Ew.

[VI] Money can't buy you love - One Day
"Money in the bank, my car brand new. I got everything I want, but you... House on a hill, hollywood view, got everything I want but you". You see there's a bit of a habit around mainstream dance-pop to namedrop brand names and jetsetting lifestyles, that it ultimately renders the groundbreaking realisation, that such pursuits are unfulfilling and vacuous, glorious to those of us who've observed from the sidelines going "I told you so". So the next time you're about to go shopping for Ed Hardy t-shirts, put them down and head off to Waterstones.

[VII] The Digital Age - Take It to the Hole (feat. Busta Rhymes)
Aside from all of the 80s revivals happening in indie, rock and dance genres at the moment, and the rise of dubstep and experimental individualism, mainstream pop has been subject to a great surge in electronics in the past 5 years. But with all of this experimentation there has to be a counterweight - and that is repetitive, infuriating "hooks" in place of a tune. The loop on this track... I can only report it as the sound of Satan flossing with your intestines.

[VIII] Too many cooks spoil the broth - Best Night (feat. will.i.am, GoonRock & Eva Simons)
On first impression this track might appear to be 'quite good'. That is because it employs the cunning tactic of using less obstructive synths and sound effects, and it sounds a lot less soul-destroying. However, with the huge producer will.i.am. at the helm you'd be forgiven for expecting something a little more from this. It still gyrates a repetitive synth-tune in your face, and it still stagnates in a lack of melody or interest.

[IX] Sexting is not good grounds for a relationship - All Night Long (feat. Lisa)
"I read your text sayin' whatchu wanna do to me."
And there was me thinking Vodafone would block death threats.

[X] The death of Hip Hop - With You
Since the rise of poseurs like 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg whose creative messages and wordplay pretty much ends at telling girls how nice their posteriors are, the reputation of Hip-Hop has taken a bit of a beating. Whilst there are indeed innovators and artists in the field, the message of 'With You'? "Memories fade like old leather/ but the music that we make gonna last forever".


Imagine you've spent a couple of hundred on a Nintendo DS. Now imagine that you've accidentally spilled some Lucozade on it whilst you were playing Mario Kart. The ensuing fault-noises and beeps would have more structure and charm than this barrage of shite. If I were pushed to find a positive in amongst all of this rubble, I can take solace in the fact that no cherished songs were sampled or covered. This is all entirely original. I can also count myself lucky to be in the company of friends who'll agree that this is dirge, and therefore this can be easily avoided. Maybe LMFAO are subliminally providing an educational awareness of how bad society can get if you turn your back on it - in which case they just might be the Dispatches of the music world - but that would sadly require a plan, and therefore, thought.

Rating: 0.5/10
Highlights: Party Rockin' (if you aren't bored of it already), Best Night (it's less annoying, but by no means any good).
Avoid: Everything else.

Artwork Watch: A mostly-naked torso, an embarrassing tattoo, vulgar accessories, garish font, obvious camel-toe and stupid facial expressions. Almost artistic in its representative qualities.
For fans of: Suicide.