A God-awful Small Affair

If you're British and have, perchance, watched something on BBC Three over the past 2 years, it's almost certain that you'll have heard a track from Two Door Cinema Club's debut album Tourist History . Granted, it was an album full to the brim with memorable little tunes that were worthy of such promotional appearances, but their sound soon wore thin. I could quite happily go the rest of my life without hearing I Can Talk again, for example. And so the Northern Irish trio move onto their third release (Tourist History was technically their second after a 2009 EP named Four Words to Stand On ) in as many years: although guaranteed success now with their huge media coverage, not to mention frontman Alex Trimble's showcasing at the 2012 Olympics opening ceremony (singing Caliban's Dream ) will the album match up to those exciting little tunes? there were meant to be at least 3 paragraphs here but the album bored me sorry The record's an odd one ...

Ritanna Although 2012 has provided more than enough reasons to be proud to be British, there's one element of UK life that's still mundanely shite: the pop charts. Each and every song that's grabbed a No#1 in the past 2 or 3 years with the occasional exception (Adele, Cee Lo Green, Coldplay - and even those struggle to capture the imagination) has been of the same, routine compost-heap blend and I'm not really sure how many times I have to complain about that until it changes. To grab a top spot today you have to either: Sing about how lovely it is to "be yourself" and "stay true to who you are" and ignore "haters" and the commercial aspect of life. See: Jessie J, Katy Perry, Bruno Mars. Be on the X Factor. See: JLS, Cher Lloyd, Little Mix, One Direction. Dance until your fucking legs fall off and even then keep dancing on bloody stumps. See: Jennifer Lopez, DJ Fresh, David Guetta. Be a "national treasure" and commemor...

It's a little difficult to comment on a London-born solo female of dubstep and garage persuasions without referencing last year's breakthrough success Katy B, and with the same [Forename ending with Y] [Single letter surname] formula, Cooly G's surge to critical acclaim may owe a little to the genre's recent boom in mainstream spheres. It seems eons ago since the rise (and rather speedy) fall of careers such as Ms Dynamite and Craig David, and by contrast their sounds and innovations appear even more outdated. Such is the dynamic nature of music nowadays that genres are literally dying and rebirthing every month. Semi-professional footballer Cooly G - real name Merissa Campbell - has already picked up a handful of praise with Guardian single of the week and Pitchfork best new music titles, but still seems to be lacking that one breakthrough hit to get her where she belongs. The music's certainly not as straightforwardly pop as the likes of Katy on a Mission ...

Of 2009's exciting new acts to make a name for themselves (Passion Pit, Lady GaGa, Music Go Music), the xx were one of the latest to really grab me by the horns. Perhaps their whole understated, delicate sound made them by default one of the calmest breakthroughs, but it really wasn't until 2010 that I bought the album and let Crystallised and its cohorts take hold. Since then, of course, the band have been stratospheric in their success. After winning the Mercury Prize, Jamie xx has gone on to remix tracks from the likes of Florence + the Machine, Adele and Radiohead, and has produced the brilliant Gil Scott-Heron career finish We're New Here , from which Drake & Rihanna's hit Take Care was taken. Rihanna's also sampled the xx's Intro for her own recent album track Drunk on Love . For the rest of the band it's been business as usual, and the focus has turned to producing the impossible follow-up. It all begins extremely promisingly with argua...

I'd intended upon reviewing this prior to its Mercury Prize nomination but my inscrutably backdated list of albums prevented me from doing so (hence September reviews of June releases), so now it looks like I've followed a trend when I CANNOT STRESS HOW MUCH THAT WASN'T THE CASE. 26-year old Ware, a London popstar who found her fame thanks to a guest spot on SBTRKT single Nervous back in 2010, has put out an unexpectedly successful debut (#5 in the UK album charts) featuring production from Kid Harpoon (Florence + the Machine's Shake it Out; Never Let Me Go ) and the Invisible (Adele's Rolling in the Deep ; Kate Nash's Pumpkin Soup ), so perhaps some hidden awareness of production credits has put her into the limelight. I shouldn't, of course, detract from her success without analysing the album first. First impressions that the title track give us are of a slow, intimate nature. Ware's vocals are hushed and somewhere hidden amongst the track...

To say Intimacy divided critics would be like saying that Nero didn't react to Rome burning with urgency. To say The Boxer wasn't very good would be like saying Avatar wasn't very good. The believed reigning gods of the British post-punk scene had fallen into a deep ravine of hiatuses, electronic fusions and half-hearted experimental sides that never really had time to settle and for a good record. Their fourth (!!!!) record comes, then, with a great many expectations and hopes; would Okereke & Co. manage to resurrect some formidably listenable anthems in the same vein as Banquet , Helicopter or even one as wonderfully pretty as I Still Remember ? I do not approve of that fucking t-shirt In tying with their slightly cryptic, slightly tedious promotional videos the opening to 'So He Begins to Lie' presents us with one of many fourth-wall shattering comments "have you got that already?" that completely bewilder me with their lack of ne...

Although just about every genre of music (R.I.P. polka) is still alive and kicking thanks to the cross-experimentation and multiple-influence nature of today, it was something of a pleasant surprise to see that psychedelic rock remained dear to some band's hearts with the release of Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti band's debut album (as a band), Before Today . The record fused a love of music's weirdest moments and the band's own unique eccentricities excellently, and everything down to the lo-fi fuzz about it all felt like revisiting a favourite band. Now L.A. man Ariel Pink's ninth album - the second with his concrete band of Haunted Graffiti - Mature Themes looks to build upon that largely sober and serious-faced eighth and shake it up a little. The record opens with a kind of Iron Butterfly organ melody and lyrics about battleships, Sigmund Freud and the desire to fondle someone's arse in a jacuzzi - and 'Kinski Assassin' is about as th...

As something of a late developer in the whole "fancying celebrities" department I guess I missed out on a whole range of teenage heartthrobs in the early noughties. Zac Efron for the gay side, Britney Spears for the straight. Somewhere along the line though it developed and with it a bewildered observation of those younger than I and what passes for a poster-boy today. JLS, Justin Bieber, Taylor Lautner... I don't see it with any of them. The British equivalent is no different. Nineteen year old Brighton prodigy Conor Maynard has seemingly emerged out of nowhere (or a BMI marketing drive) with a direct assault upon the nation's Twitter-using mega-loyal teenage girl market. It's an incredibly lucrative market - regularly grabbing chart positions (and toppers) for One Direction, the Wanted and McFly (heck, even Jedward are still going). But the sounds of debut song Can't Say No suggested a more serious, palatable fodder than the likes of those talent vacuum...

I think this might be my 100th review of a North-American indie-pop duo. Hmm. Edmonton pair Corin Roddick and Megan James form Purity Ring , a now Montreal-based act signed to the virtually ubiquitous "cool" label 4AD (pronounced forward , as in 4 ad, not 4 A.D.) whose current clients include Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, the National, Deerhunter and St. Vincent. About to embark on a rather lengthy UK tour with their custom-made tree-shaped instruments (!) they've already garnered a fair bit of attention for their debut which, according to the Guardian, "repays exploration". The idea of shrill, piercing synths mired amongst dark, moody beats isn't exactly the most groundbreaking of 2012, but one that sees 'Crawlersout' put out the pair's mission statement pretty assuredly. James' vocals are tampered with and sampled throughout for jagged echoes and stuttering effects that keep you on your toes, whilst Roddick's track bubbles...

The 2010 release of their debut Chariot drew almost no attention whatsoever and there's the horrible realisation that, had they managed to get it out 2 years earlier, they could've rode that large Vampire Weekend rise to fame with their whole jerky, quirky indie-pop shtick. The noughties saw the birth of plenty of fun electronic-rock acts (Hot Chip, Sneaky Sound System, The Go! Team), casting shrouds over the likes of Yazoo, Ultravox and The Human League and their famously moody electronica. Unfortunately, towards the end and in the 2010s especially, pouts have returned and, with a worldwide recession and tough times, seemingly cast clouds over the genre. HURTS had a well-received debut, Washed Out and The xx too, and the niche of uplifting music has been designated to the cheesy, "inspiring" and sappy lyrics that Katy Perry and will.i.am. hope to conjure. Got a bit carried away there with lists of bands... sorry. The Cast of Cheers, however, wish to bring back ...

For a brief moment (largely sped along by the rather catchy and fun '59 Sound ), the Gaslight Anthem were able to trap me in their whole Americana sound and that was okay. The Springsteen comparisons were fast and abounding, and pretty fair. But this album... I set up this template assuming I'd have the wherewithal and patience to give it a full review... ...is a repetitive, dross mess. It's indeed listenable, and they'd probably be great fun to see live, but if you can find the patience and mood to sit down and listen to the same formula 11 times then well done, you deserve my admiration. Rating: 3/10 Highlights: 45 Avoid: all of it to be QUITE HONEST Artwork Watch: They like the classic American album look don't they? Shame this isn't one.   Up next: The Cast of Cheers

The UK's fondness of one solo male musician per year has boomed in the 21st century. James Morrison, James Blunt, Will Young and, in 2011, Ed Sheeran have all enjoyed buoyant rises to fame off the back of thoroughly mediocre albums piqued with one (or two) hit songs. Plan B, in 2010, did much the same thing with his sophomore The Defamation of Strickland Banks , although he'd featured on modest successes such as Chase & Status' End Credits already by that point. His album however was a major step away from his early hip hop/R&B roots, welcoming all forms of jazz, soul and even some big band elements. To me, however, the hype was lost. That's due in part, of course, to the UK media's frustrating zeal in thrusting every single new sensation into every aspect of your life until you're aware of who they are (adverts, awards shows, chat shows, magazines, about 30+ weeks on the increasingly-predictable album charts). The songs were certainly fine enough ...