James Arthur - James Arthur

It would appear we've created another monster.

There's something about the process of becoming an X Factor winner that turns British males from humble, heavily controlled and safe folks into quite unlikeable people. Anyone who's followed Arthur on Twitter for the year following his restricted tenure on the show (where you're groomed and preened into being as inoffensive as possible) will have found a series of not-very-thinly-veiled jabs at a whole host of people, ranging from his own peers (2010's winner Matt Cardle, who, to be fair, is a bigger prick), the current generation (this year's act Kingsland Road) and just about everyone in response to his proper debut single failing to reach #1. Of course it's understandable that some will grow to resent a show where you're supposed to pretend to relate to Nicole Scherzinger and then find yourself on the scrapheap within 5 years - but with Arthur that hasn't happened yet, and the sense of entitlement is overwhelmingly discouraging.

This September saw the first appearance of what would be Arthur in the studio, and that was his second single 'You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You'. It begins well with a nice helping of soul music before a cacophony of contemporary tampering nonsense completely dilutes any of it: gospel choirs, trumpets, a garage/rock bit of drumming are all trying desperately to kick up a fuss but the end result is just too much noise, and Arthur struggles to keep up. From here on, it only gets cheesier: Westlife hitmaker Wayne Hector, as well as FIVE other cowriters, helm the cheesy-inspirational 'Get Down' but it will later serve as something of a highlight. Imagine it on BBC montages at the Sports Personality of the Year or something. The usually magnificent Salaam Remi (the man behind much of Amy Winehouse's success, not to mention Nas and Fugees) can't really say that 'New Tattoo' is his best work; instead it's a dull and clumsy metaphor ("we cannot deface in any weather" - really?). His winner's single 'Impossible', an unlikely Shontelle cover, was promising and a brilliant vocal performance, but shouldn't have been the blueprint for the rest of the album.

His belting vocals are even often the undoing of many potential crackers: 'Lie Down' has a nice chorus that could serve as a good single, but his howls and ceaseless riffs make the whole thing exhausting. 'Supposed', too, is a heartstrings-tugging bit of earnesty that feels like repeatedly having a jar of a Syrian child's tears thrown in your face. But then there're the tracks that come off as narcoleptic: everybody's least favourite workaholic Emeli Sande pops up on 'Roses' ("smells like Roses to me" - well, we know what Outkast would have to say about this), a track that's basically a cheap knock-off of a Lana del Rey instrumental. I've tried to play the album from start to finish four times now and by the time I get to 'Certain Things' and 'Is This Love?' (the latter is quite nice, in fairness) they both pass without me noticing they were ever on.

There are a few saving graces: the personal touches and stories behind 'Suicide', accompanied by the track's simple nature, make it genuinely moving, and 'Recovery' is surely going to be a single with its slightly dub breakdown towards the end and a strong - and not overegged - voice. Some of the productions are pretty decent, too - most of them are Naughty Boy's, like the nicely chilled 'Smoke Clouds', which explains a lot - but wander down the safer route he's carved for Sande rather than anything new.

It's common sense that the X Factor and all of its alumni - however removed from Syco's shackles - has never produced, and will never produce, a great album. Leona Lewis came the closest last year, but remains too dull to pull it off. Sure, there've been countless great singles, but the fact remains that until Syco ceases to exist albums like this won't either. Only Arthur's formidable voice and vague semblances of an attitude keep this from being a total nadir, and hopefully this is just the obligatory servile first step in a career that'll grow to offer Arthur more artistic license.

Rating: 3.5/10
Highlights: Impossible; Recovery; Smoke Clouds; Suicide
Avoid: Roses; Supposed; You're Nobody 'til Somebody Loves You; New Tattoo; Certain Things

Artwork Watch: Where do Syco get these ideas!?!?
For fans of: Unwarranted petulance. Albums of the sounds of women giving birth.
Up next: Sleigh Bells