Britney Spears - Femme Fatale, a review

Such is the worldwide presence of Ms. Spears that she, even 13 years after her breakthrough, is able to still hit #1 spot all over the world. She is the very definition of a modern popstar - she's enjoyed the success and also suffered a lot of highly-profiled personal problems. So there comes a time where such new albums are almost like milestones; things you can look back on in photographs like "oh, there's Oops I Did It Again! Aw, she was so innocent back then" and "Hey, look! Here's Blackout! Christ she was a mess!"

I'm quite aware that, being a fan of um... music... I'm probably about to sign my death warrant here due to the sheer capacity and mental instability of some of her hardcore fans. If you're a member of a forum you'll know them - they brandish GIFs freely and use terms like "stay pressed" and "rofl haters" and "THIS IS MY JAM" which have about as much cohesive structure as Japan right now. (Oh, that was a low blow. I'm sorry.)

Onto the album. It kicks off with the two singles - the first of which (released second, bear with me) is 'Till The World Ends', comparatively the most perfectly directed towards today's pop market, being so Ke$ha's "Blow" inspired that it is (Ke$ha was interestingly a writer...). It's a fine pop song and despite its rather rushed release (probably a mistake, at least here in the UK where it debuted at #55 (it's since climbed to about the #20 mark)) I believe it to be the strongest piece of pop on the album. 'Hold It Against Me' boasted a great video (definitely her strongest since Toxic) and whilst the song was a little muted - it certainly didn't make as much of a splash as Womanizer - it's got its merits.


Sleaze is heaped on liberally in 'Inside Out', a relatively strong track that pinpoints Spears in her traditional seductive position over some relatively safe and slow beats. 'I Wanna Go' is perhaps the strongest of the new tracks - featuring all the traditional "lights go out" and other such innuendos placed over a Bob Sinclar-like whistling tune that crescendoes into a killer chorus. If it's not released as a single it'll be a great missed opportunity. And then 'How I Roll' is a spoken proclamation of confidence that drops nonsense "bum-de-bum"s (that'll probably grow to be as irritatingly catchy as Rihanna's 'Disturbia') inbetween rather more out-there sexual references that are more tacky ("you can be my fuck tonight") than tasteful.

And we reach our first howler of the album in '(Drop Dead) Beautiful', which displays more autotune than a 2150 rerecording of Cher's Believe. By Will.I.Am. and Akon. It's so repetitive and lacking in personality that it's actually insulting to think your fans will just lap up this shit (and, sadly, they will). There's some dirtiness about 'Seal It With A Kiss' with tired references to forbidden fruit and actually painful chorus rhymes:

Come in closer, don't be shy.
Cross my heart and hope to die.
Keep a secret, me and you,
and seal it with a kiss, ooo-ooo-oooh.

Someone give the bitch an Ivor Novello.

Regular readers of my blog will be familiar with my unrelenting hatred towards Will.I.Am. and his turgid discography of unimaginative beats, virtually flatulent autotunes and overwhelming lack of creativity. It's actually ridiculous that people can still find something in him, or whatever soulless new project he's fronting (Cheryl Cole, The Beginning, Usher...) that is fresh. So 'Big Fat Bass' was never going to please me.


'Trouble For Me' has some interesting verse variations that make it stick out, rolling out the dance hooks with a worrying ease. One of the biggest tunes is found in 'Trip To Your Heart', being so full of David Guetta-tinged euphoric moments and an endearingly cute chorus. There are some shades of Britney old in 'Gasoline', being more bubblegum pop than electro/dance, so it's a welcome change of scene. But it lacks the chorus to really make a name for itself. And then we climax (ooer, geddit?) with 'Criminal', a step again away from the electropop with an almost soft country-style chorus that really sticks out musically.

It's actually staggering that it takes about 4 writers for each of these songs. It almosts suggest a strenuous creative process. Also, is it a bit prudish of me to ask that Spears, as a mother of 2, stops singing about sex? Would I be immediately deemed old-fashioned? Because if that's what it takes, to ask more from a mother than some crudely-placed double entendres then maybe I'm glad I am.

To put it bluntly: there is nothing on this album that is as strong a hit as recent efforts like Womanizer, Gimme More or even If U Seek Amy. But in another strange revelation, there's a massive reduction in the number of embarrassingly poor tracks (anyone remember Mmm Papi?) so I guess these revelations cancel each other out. It's a pretty consistent album, but it's not her best. But it's thankfully no Circus.

Rating: 6/10
Highlights: I Wanna Go, Trip To Your Heart, TilL The World Ends, Hold It Against Me, Criminal
Avoid: Big Fat Bass, (Drop Dead) Beautiful