Coldplay - Mylo Xyloto


Confessing that you're a Coldplay fan has been risky territory for a good 5 years or so now. Only the hardcore haters would fail to appreciate their earlier records - A Rush of Blood to the Head in particular remains one of my favourite albums of all time. Whether it's the Radiohead derivatives, the miserable soft-rock and the ensuing TV montage spots or just a plain old dislike for Chris Martin, it seems that, whilst the sales and audiences are getting bigger, so are the cynics. Up until 2011 the band had never yet disappointed me - even last year's Christmas Lights charmed the socks off me - but 'Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall' should've been a warning sign.

Yes, it seems noone is safe from the eurodance trend. The fact that its tune was just so uneventful, in addition to being identical to a dodgy 80s Simon Cowell production, led to a horrifying thought: maybe the critics were right. Nonetheless, album tracks have always been highlights for me throughout their career, so let's press on.


With a self-titled intro full of romantic keys and their token distant-epic atmospherics, the band launch into 'Hurts Like Heaven', a rapidfire rebellion that boasts "Tonight the streets are ours/ And we’re writing and saying/ Don't let them take control". Melodically sound, the band are able to notch up another sure stadium-rock favourite here. Second single 'Paradise' again initially worried me with its all style, no substance knacks and tricks that the band have been so eager to employ since the worldwide success of Viva la Vida - but the key difference here is that the songwriting has taken a massive tumble. Gone are the wartime epics and the French revolution; in their place? Romantic clichés.

They try to revive a little of Life in Technicolor (II of which was fucking fantastic, by the by) on 'Charlie Brown', vowing "We’ll run riot, we’ll be glowing in the dark" in amongst some rather unremarkable Coldplay hubbub. Yes, this one's for the yoof. You can count up the lyrical clichés on 'Us Against the World', but melodically and sonically it's just refreshing to see an acoustic Coldplay again. It might not be the strongest of their tunes but I approve of their self-rediscovery. 'M.M.I.X.' throws a couple of little extra-terrestrial sounds into the mix before the big stomping monolith that is 'Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall'. Sure, it's catchy. But it's a huge step down again in terms of songwriting.

Not all diversions from their stereotypical sounds are euphoric-pop, though; 'Major Minus' projects them into 90s U2-pastiches (complete with blustering Edge riffs) - otherwise the track again just sadly meanders uneventfully. 'U.F.O.' then gets across another nice little acoustic ditty that sounds irrelevant when compared to 'Princess of China'. Featuring the little-known Rihanna, it's understandably bombastic and the band staggeringly pull it off - a growling synth hook does well to set their sights high, and of course Rihanna's vocals propel it into future chart kingdoms with aplomb. 'Up In Flames' gently pulls in the reigns with a cute piano tune and poignant tune.


A daft little samba is then seen in 'A Hopeful Transmission', a title so ridiculously saccharine that you have to wonder if they're asking for a slap. They then throw every single crescendo into 'Don't Let It Break Your Heart', which carries all the subtlety of a Glee Spice Girls medley. 'Up With the Birds' continues and bows the band out with a similar full-frontal optimism. You could put any kind of spin on the record; that it's a ray of sunshine in a very bleak climate, that it's a band reaching out and exploring themselves, or that it's one for the kids.

It's just a little soul-destroying that the band you've spent so long defending from snobs and idiots go and produce an album where the highlights sound more like Taio Cruz's 'Dynamite' (Every Teardrop...) than 'The Scientist' or 'In My Place'. You can't fault their ambition, but Mylo Xyloto at times feels like it's aiming for the stars with a rocket made out of cardboard.

Rating: 6.5/10
Highlights: Hurts Like Heaven, Princess of China, Us Against the World, Up In Flames
Avoid: Major Minus, Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall, Charlie Brown

Artwork Watch: An eye-catching but clumsy attempt at trying to ensnare the kids by an incredibly privileged band. Like hearing your dad say "yo".

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