Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines

Where a lot of bloggers hopped aboard the most recent and prominent example of modern music's misogyny and offensive rape culture - the music video to the single Blurred Lines - the rest of the world revelled in its fantastically catchy beat. And whilst Thicke himself issued possibly the most stupidly incendiary defence imaginable in an interview with GQ:

People say, "Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?" I'm like, "Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I've never gotten to do that before. I've always respected women."

There is the risk that this is all just the latest in a series of controversy stunts by the truly talentless and artless video-maker Diane Martel (Britney's 3; Miley's We Can't Stop), and that we're just throwing paper onto the flames. It's probably for the best that I ignore his unavoidably creepy demeanour and leave that for the social activist Tumblrs to run into the ground. Instead, let's take a look at Blurred Lines objectively.

So obviously we begin with the single of the same name and if you haven't formed an opinion of that track by now I'm not entirely sure how much I can help. It's basically one of those rare Pharrell collabs that are actually any good (remember that Mika song from last year? Or Adam Lambert's Tresspassing? Me neither) and then some. The verse from T.I. is wholly unnecessary but never mind. It's followed by fellow noughties hitmaker Timbaland's sole producing contribution: 'Take it Easy On Me', a totally standard dance-pop number that - like 75% of Timbaland's current stuff - finds itself hammering the same hook into the ground with the care and precision of the troll from the first Harry Potter movie. Much build-up and fanfare about Thicke prior to this record likened him to Justin Timberlake, and on the breezy, vaguely funky 'Ooo La La' he's at least vocally comparable. The track is a little too uneventful to be truly catchy; a complaint I could go on to make of many other tracks here.

Take 'Ain't no Hat 4 That', where Thicke finds himself footing the bill for a materialist girl, and manages to use "obstreperous" in its lyrics (!) The tune itself is somewhere stuck between Gloria Estefan's dated latin-pop sound and a funk guitar that might as well have been borrowed from Sam Sparro's dull last album. Or 'Give it 2 U', the typical "brash and noisy so therefore good" second single that finds Thicke promising "got a big dick for you". Sadly, even Kendrick Lamar's roped into the act; starting "wanna sit you where my face at", it only goes downhill from there. The world reacted with my indifference, and it ended up charting at #61 in the UK. It's remarkable, really, because elsewhere Thicke is a different act entirely. On 'Feel Good' he's boasting a pretty impressive falsetto and - whilst the backing is a typically underwhelming will.i.am. production - it's quite listenable. He talks his wife Paula Patton (he's married!?) into providing backing vocals on another funk track, 'Get in my Way', and turns fully romantic on 'For the Rest of My Life', a slick and nice piece ultimately let down by lyrics that could easily have been imagined up by an eight year old.

That theme only continues into the monotonous turd that is 'Top of the World'. And the self-congratulatory bullshit 'The Good Life'.

Some hate is deserved, I guess.

Rating: 3.5/10
Highlights: Blurred Lines; Ooo La La; Get in My Way
Avoid: Top of the World; For the Rest of My Life; The Good Life; Ain't No Hat 4 That; Give it 2 U

Artwork Watch: This might have looked cool in 1972.
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