Music in 2012: Miscellaneous [5 Biggest Disappointments etc]

I've given you my little doses of celebratory accolades already this festive period, so I guess it now falls to me to herald in the new year with a couple of miscellaneous awards. First off, I'll announce my worst ten albums of the year, before analysing some disappointments, some failed hypes, and what to look out for in 2013. Let's dig in.

#10 - "Streets in the Sky", the Enemy
I'm usually quite patient with the Enemy because a lot of the critical press have written them off entirely, but to be fair to them their debut album We'll Live and Die in these Towns was wonderful. This was not. Repetitive, uneventful dirge.

#9 - "Lex Hives", The Hives
Terrible, terrible, monotonous nonsense. Hate it.

#8 - "#3", The Script
The same GCSE student poetry placed over the same five chord progressions and the most tedious thing to come out of Ireland since... well, Jedward.

 
#7 - "Sounds from Nowheresville", The Ting Tings
Even amongst my most defiant of cries that Shut Up and Let Me Go and Great DJ were decent pop songs, there was always the sneaky suspicion that the Ting Tings were garbage. Taking four years to produce this confirmed that.

#6 - "Express Non-Stop", Alphabeat
PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP

#5 - "Strangeland", Keane
Excruciatingly dull, the worst band in the world.

#4 - "The Temper Trap", The Temper Trap
Such a disappointment, but then I should have always suspected it after I only bothered with Sweet Disposition three years ago. But this was truly, truly awful.

#3 - "Overexposed", Maroon 5
Apt title.

#2 - "Ora", Rita Ora
Totally devoid of any identity, Rita Ora decided to make her impression by copying everyone existing already. Outstanding in its potential to bore.

#1 - "Uno!", Green Day
Please just stop. "Past it" would be a compliment. The only ever successful artist to produce three albums in a year was Robyn, and that's because pulling off cold, distant emotional electropop is a heck of a lot easier to sustain than the energy required for post-punk (lol, they ditched that in 1997) pop. A series of bafflingly hookless tracks only held together by Billie Joe Armstrong's bloodlust for youth and relevance. Give up and retire with dignity.

 

#5 - "Beacon", Two Door Cinema Club
Sounded the same as Tourist History, but with none of the tunes.
#4 - "MDNA", Madonna
Slightly embarrassing. Three good songs, two thousand bad ones.
#3 - "Four", Bloc Party
Oh dear.
#2 - "Coexist", The xx
For all intents and purposes it wasn't a terrible album, but it was everything xx wasn't. A hollow, empty and dull listen from start to finish.
#1 - "Battle Born", The Killers
I never wanted this to happen, but the Killers have produced something so undeniably bad that I, who up until 2009 called them my favourite band/musician ever, cannot defend it.

 

#5 - "The Vaccines Come of Age", The Vaccines
Their debut wasn't really all that amazing, and this just repeated their formulaic nonsense to tedium. Also, stop putting your name in the ****ing title.
#4 - "Our Version of Events", Emeli Sande
Failed to live up to the "Critics Choice" hype she picked up at the BRIT Awards at the start of the year, with this again average LP, and then proceeded to appear on every television screen she could. The most irritating woman of the year.
#3 - "Jake Bugg", Jake Bugg
Certainly a talented kid, but the next big thing ready to take on the talent shows and mainstream he ain't. A hit and miss album.
#2 - "An Awesome Wave", Alt-J
The dullest listen all year. Absolutely nothing to be amazed by.
#1 - "Some Nights", fun.
SHUT UP. JUST SHUT THE HELL UP. YOU MAKE MIKA LOOK LIKE WEETABIX. EXCRUCIATING MUSIC.

 

We were originally teased with the prospect of a 2012 LP from M.I.A., what with the phenomenal and unexpected release of Bad Girls at the start of the year, but she's been unusually quiet since. The occasional leak and sneak-peek aside - the preview of Come Walk With Me, the release of Attention to a fan - let's hope 2013 is a little louder come Matangi



This isn't concrete, but maybe a sixth solo Kanye LP isn't too much to hope for? He's obviously been busy working on it, but with a heck of a lot of distractions - the Throne team-up, the G.O.O.D. Music collective - and the rather challenging prospect of matching up to My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy, does he have it in him?



It's testament to how much time and effort they put into each album that it's only been four albums in a decade from Arcade Fire, and although details on their 2013 release - tentatively timed for the summer - are scarce, there's already plenty to be excited about.



Another group of titans gearing up for their fourth LP in a decade are Yeah Yeah Yeahs, who've promised a Spring release. Now that the duo are so well-known that they've had songs covered by Glee, will they continue down the pop path or return to their fuzzier, earlier sound?



Still clinging onto some integrity and indie cool, unlike her other end-of-2011 breakthrough counterpart Lana del Rey, Azealia Banks should finally get around to releasing her debut album "Broke With Expensive Taste" at some point in February 2013. Let's hope it's somehow better than her free stuff, and hope in vain for some form of proper 'Esta Noche' release.



Oh, just this little shindig that will feature BEYONCE AT THE SUPERBOWL. Tears and feathers shall be shed. There's also the possibility of new music. Amazing.



There's nothing concrete in the works but can we please have a follow-up to Janelle Monae's brilliant 2010 release The Archandroid? Please?



Following this year's disappointment of Katy B cancelling her gig in Bath, I can at least take solace in the fact that a follow-up to her debut is on the way. The four-track EP 'Danger' this year was a promising sign.



Well there'll be at least one good song on the third GaGa LP, right? Right?

NEW:
There's also the breakthroughs to look forward to. Tom Odell's already picked up a BRIT Critics Choice award, and to date there hasn't been a recipient of that that hasn't succeeded. Angel Haze looks poised to put aside all of the silly rap rivalries and Twitter shades thrown around by the likes of Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks, and going by her YouTube videos, is likely to set fire to the year. A*M*E and Charli XCX should make some interesting debut albums following a string of great releases from both of them. In the world of indie King Krule and Woodkid are also promising.